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Want meaningful relationships? Start by understanding your personal values. Shared values can lead to stronger, longer-lasting connections. Here’s how to identify and use them in dating:
Platforms like Maroon focus on value-based dating, helping you connect with people who share your goals. Stay true to your values to build authentic, lasting relationships.
Personal values are the core beliefs that shape your choices, especially in dating. Relationship expert Katie Krimer describes them as "core principles that help to guide and dictate a person's behavior as well as inspire someone to commit to a particular action that is in line with certain life goals and fulfillment".
In the dating world, these values influence what makes you feel secure, at ease, and connected with potential partners. Understanding this definition highlights why aligning values is so important in building meaningful relationships.
When it comes to relationships, having shared personal values can make all the difference. Research even suggests that mismatched financial values can double the likelihood of divorce.
"For a long-lived relationship, couples don't necessarily need to agree on everything, but they need to be aligned on their values." – Nir Eyal
Dr. Kristen Fuller, M.D., explains that "Core values in a relationship are the guiding beliefs that direct your words and actions; your perspective is about yourself and other individuals and the world around you". When partners share similar values, they tend to:
Recognizing how these factors shape relationships can help you use your values as a guide when dating.
Clearing up common myths about values can help set realistic expectations for dating.
The Opposites Attract Myth
Relationship coach Katarina Polonska warns, "Opposites attract – This is an oversimplified idea and used to justify being with someone who is incompatible with them. Of course it can work, but it's a superficial myth and typically brings more heartache than happiness".
The Perfect Match Myth
While shared values are important, expecting to agree on every single belief is unrealistic. The goal is to find someone whose core values align with and complement your own.
The Change Myth
Julie Nguyen highlights, "It's a common but misguided myth to believe that love alone can make someone change". Core values are deeply ingrained and rarely undergo major shifts, even in long-term relationships.
Using journal prompts can help you uncover your core values when it comes to dating and relationships.
Trust and Respect
Communication and Boundaries
Growth and Support
These reflections can provide clarity and set the stage for using professional tools to refine your understanding of your values.
Assessment tools can help you identify your relationship values with more precision:
Pair these tools with insights from your past relationships to deepen your understanding.
"The fate of any relationship isn't entirely based on who you're dating...So it's not helpful to attribute relationship failure entirely to having been involved with the wrong person".
Reflecting on your past relationships can reveal a lot about your core values. Here's how to approach it:
These exercises, combined with tools and self-reflection, can help you better understand what truly matters to you in dating and relationships.
Start by pinpointing your top five values from these categories:
These values serve as the foundation for your relationships and help guide your choice of partner. Once you’ve identified them, bring them into conversations naturally during dates.
"Values aren't something you see or feel. They're rooted in your background and have developed into something you hold sacred in yourself and appreciate in your partner. They are the foundation of a solid relationship, so you should try to find out what your potential partner's values are in the first few dates."
Bringing up values early on shows that you’re serious about building a meaningful connection. Here are a few easy ways to start these conversations:
"Being willing to explore and validate the importance of each others' values can help two people come closer to being on the same page."
You don’t need to agree on everything, but understanding each other’s values is key. After discussing them, take a moment to reflect on how your conversations and actions align.
"Conflicts emerge when people have contradicting values. Both people think they're 'right.' Both people don't understand the other person's perspective. Once you get past the emotions, you can start naming and identifying these values. Only then, will you actually see where you and the other person differ."
If you notice early misalignments, be upfront about your values and see how they respond. This can save both of you time and emotional energy in the long run.
Maroon emphasizes the importance of shared values in dating by offering tools designed to encourage genuine connections.
Maroon uses a tiered question system to move beyond small talk and spark meaningful conversations. Here's how it works:
Maroon stands out by prioritizing connection over appearance. Features like a daily photo limit and controlled match queue encourage users to focus on personality and compatibility. This setup fosters an environment where deeper relationships can take root.
For those seeking meaningful relationships, Maroon offers a thoughtful approach. Its design encourages users to spend time on fewer, more promising connections that align with their values. By blending dating psychology with smart features, Maroon helps users find partners who share their goals and outlook on life.
Building strong, lasting relationships starts with understanding and aligning personal values. Studies highlight that shared values - especially those centered on concepts like kindness and inclusivity - enhance relationship quality and help create deeper connections.
"Becoming aware of your core values will help you become aware when someone's values aren't aligning with yours"
This awareness not only helps in choosing the right partner but also minimizes potential conflicts. By staying true to your values, you can form connections that feel genuine and respectful. Honest communication is key to establishing relationships based on trust and mutual understanding.
Platforms like Maroon take this idea further by focusing on value-based dating. These tools encourage meaningful conversations and prioritize compatibility over superficial matching, aligning perfectly with your personal insights and beliefs.
"Your values become your destiny"
When you let your values guide you, the relationships you build are more likely to be fulfilling and enduring. Stay grounded in your beliefs, and let them lead you to meaningful connections.